Ladies, what would u say if u were in her shoes? Guys what would u do if u were in his shoes?

Today, I had a beautiful little girl. She was born 7 weeks early and she only weighs 3lbs and 1oz. Anyways the father of my baby and I aren't together, he is in a relationship with someone else. I wanted him to stay the night with us at the hospital but she basically told him, if he did, their relationship is over. We can't have sex at the hospital or anything of that nature. I don't understand why she was so mad. Was she wrong for giving him an ultimatum like that? Was he less than a man, to not stay in the hospital with us tonight? Be honest, what would you have done in that situation?

Ladies, what would u say if u were in her shoes? Guys what would u do if u were in his shoes?
This new 'girl' has a mjaor jealousy and self esteem issues. One of two things eventually is gonna happen.





Hopefully he will realize he needs to step up and be a dad. In doing so he will make sure the girl knows that even though he loves her and has no feelings for you she is his daughter. She will either understand that and be a positive influence in your him and your child. Maybe you and her could even get a long.





Or, he is going to continue to let her rule what he does because he doesnt want to loose her. He will be in and out of yours and hers lives. She will likely never depend on him.





You cant force him to do anything. But I would take him or go back to court, which ever the case may be, and negotiate child support and visitation. But remember that so long as you force him to pay child support, he has every right to visitation.





If you think this will be a life long negative for you and your child, you may consider filing for soul custody, and not file child support.





How old are you guys? Is he young and there is a possibility that he could grow out of this being whipped by a jealous girl thing? Maybe you dont want him in your lives now, but you might want to leave the option open for the possibility of that later.





What ever you do, you need to seriously think about your actions and how much having him around really means to you. What are you willing to go through your self, and in turn put your child through in order to keep him around?
Reply:congrats fr d baby..n sorry fr d husband


she shud'n have said dat if u r still married


if u r still married ,yes he is wrong ,completely wrong.
Reply:if he is with someone else and you were just a fling. he really doesnt have any choice. he needs to make the decision for himself of where he is happiest. as for you just having a baby congrats but why are you on the computer so soon after having a baby? you should be resting as it will be a rude awakeniing once you are out of the hospital and dont have any rest. i would tell the father that he needs to get a back bone or walk away he cant have the both of you.
Reply:Regardless of what his new woman wanted, HE made the decision not to stay. Place blame where is belongs, on him. Plus what would be the point of him spending the night at the hospital? The baby was already born. The next few months will tell how he is as a father. A new woman in his life will not dictate how he is as a new father if he truly wants to be in the babie's life. That is solely his decision to make, if he isn't there for his daughter it's his choice.
Reply:I don't know the reasons and situation that forced you both apart, but in my view it is anyway a foolish decision to get separated over small issues (or even bigger issues). Anyways it's becoming a trend now a days to keep changing partners.





My Views:


If you still love him and you are not divorced yet, you are right and you should try your level best to unite again.


In case you have already divorced, you are wrong in asking him to stay the night with you and you should not think about him any more.





Congrats for your beautiful baby!.
Reply:what if you were in her shoes? I wouldn't want him to stay with you if i was her, and its not even about sex. if I was YOU i wouldn't want him there either. he's obviously a loser. congrats on the new baby
Reply:congrats on ure baby hun why are u on the computer you should be resting!!!


He should of stayed that woman had no right!
Reply:she was wrong and so was he. he chose his girlfriend over his child thats not cool if i were you i would ask him what role he was going to play in the babys life and if he was always going to put his girlfriend before his baby
Reply:OMG!!! well first let me congratulate you for having a baby!


Second, what a *****! not you, but the girlfriend,


If i were you, i would get a job (dont know if you have one) and i would be a single mom supporting my child. A man like that, you dont need! the guy is a moron, that is letting his girlfriend control him on crap like that. The only person you are going to hurt is your little baby. Just get a stable job, like at a office or something, and just take care of you and your child. i know that rent at apartments are really expensive and life with just one income is expensive too.! But just because he is not around does not mean he is not the father of the child, so make him pay childsupport, because you both had the baby, not just you! You didnt get pregnant by an alien, you got pregnant by a moron!! (sorry)


And about the girlfriend, dont let her destroy your life, he can have the guy, you dont need a asshole like him, just for now consentrate on your baby, and try to sacrifice everything for the baby, as life goes really fast, and one day the dad will realize what a mistake he did and will want you back,





I know its hard to like someone that doesnt like you, but time will tell, and time will heal anything.
Reply:Obviously having a baby is a very binding and intimate thing. She probably senses the strong bonds between a child and father that develop and feels threatened that he would return in hopes of having a family. However, any woman who would keep a man from his child or his child's mother on the day of its birth is a monster. Such an act on the man's behalf is cowardly and I would certainly question his characters. Congrats on your baby and I wish you the best of luck.
Reply:Yeah that seems like something that she would say, but for you, you should of spoke out and told her off.....should of said look I know you are together the only thing that I want is for him to stay here with his baby.....so shut your mouth...you are not anything in this..so you should go home...told her that the only reason why you ask is because the baby is here and there maybe problems....she was wrong for saying that but the jealousness inside her made her do it...it's not their baby and it's her boyfriend now so that's what trigger her to saying that...she thinks you guys will talk about things and try to get back together she wants to keep you away...so you can't become a family.....There's always a next time.....lol....congrats on the baby good luck with your life....you'll find someone just for you!!
Reply:congratulations!!!


I do not know what was the reason you are separated with him. But if I were you , I would not make the request of asking him to stay at all. A man whose heart is not there, it is useless to have his body to be there.


Anyway, you should have a lot of rest now. Do not get too emotional disturbed. Enjoy your motherhood time. It can be so sweet .........


Be strong , girl!


Jesus love you and I love you too!
Reply:Congrats on your little one! While i think it was wrong of her not to let her boyfriend stay, you can see her side thinking you may want to try and get your ex back Had it been me I would of stayed for you and would of asked her to stay with me if she did'nt trust us together because that is what a man should do and she would have to accept that. Then when we got home there would be a long disscusion concerning trust we would have to work out because if you didn't trust me and I didn't give you a reason to not trust me then I would feel like it was an attack on my moral character
Reply:I cant really blame the girl. you guys are not together and he is her guy now. You may have just wanted to have him there to help or to get acquainted with his baby but to his girlfriend it may sound like an attempt to keep him in your life.



Camel