What would you do if your were in my shoes?

I have had applications in for month and nothing the job market here is so crunched I'm also 8 months pregnant that could have something to do with it as well. I have had it with my husband all he pays for is the rent for where we live and of course the cable forbid he be without his net. I always have to come up with money for groceries electric gas and everything else. I baby sit here and there to come up with money but have been less and less as people I know have had cut backs in their hours or loss of job. I'm trying desperately to come up with money for our electric bill after Friday we face getting turned off. I should be able to Someone I sit for gets paid on wed so I am hoping I'll have it in on time. But I was going to use that for the grocery but electric has to come first. My car has been parked for weeks I can't afford to put any gas in it looks like I am going to have to cancel my prenatal visit this week. I walk to and from school to pick my son up it's about 10 blocks to and from home. We were doing ok up until my baby sitting got cut back so short. I have went and signed up for help even food stamps and I'm going to have to go work for them but I don't care my family has to eat. I didn't put my husband even on anything because well he is never here and he does not help. I have my son and my grandma who can't walk very good that lives with us and I wish I could get a job somewhere. My husbands car payment is 5 hundred and some odd dollars a month and he has a bike payment that is 140 and a list of other things. Claims he can't afford to help out more He doesn't buy anything like food or anything to drink. So I buy stuff for my grandma and my son and I just go without. I'm so depressed and want to cry all the time. I don't get why we are in such bad shape every dime I get goes on a bill and food every dime. My husband is leaving to deploy in July and I tried to talk to him about how am I supposed to work outside the home with him gone and no sitter for the kids he is going to have to help me more with money. He is impossible to talk to he says he just doesn't have anything really left over after he pays his bills and rent. So I don't know what me and the kids are supposed to do and I don't have any family support my parents and other relatives been dead a long time now.

What would you do if your were in my shoes?
I would gather up the kids and grandma.....and leave him....He is more of a burden on the family....He is also a selfish jackazz....
Reply:Sorry you married an asshole! First get a divorce! Second file for child support.File for medicaid on you and the kids.You can get WIC and food stamps and a small check.You could also get into government housing without him there.


As far as the unemployment and everyone hours being cut that is just starting it will take years to get out of this hole bush has put us in. Good luck.
Reply:There are agencies in your community who you can turn to for short term help. Churches are also places to look. Good luck! BTW, hubby needs to get out from under a $500+ car payment.
Reply:I cant read that it,s too long
Reply:Did you file for unemployment, disability or other federal funding like WIC or welfare?
Reply:Go get public assistance
Reply:If he's military and not caring for his family properly, can the military not intervene? If it were me, the minute he was deployed, the car and bike would be gone so no more payments on those. He doesn't deserve to have a wife and family.





Please make sure you find a way to your prenatal visits...if you already have complications with your blood pressure, your situation could be serious.
Reply:i quit reading, too long


looks like he should look for a higher paying job, or you should look for a higher paying boyfriend
Reply:Paying the rent is a lot. Your husband works and should be able to pay for things that he wants. unfortunately your grandma is not his responsibility. Maybe your husband can get a part-time job or you can try to get some assistance for your grandmother. talk to local charity agencies with help paying the utilities. Maybe you can sell your car and you can use his car as the family vehicle-since he has the bike
Reply:You husband is a selfish as*hole. You need to go to your prenatal...maybe you can tell them you will pay them nexttime and tell your hubby to give you a ride or put gas in your car. With your blood pressure, you shouldn't have to be worrying about working...aren't you on disability leave because of that because you should be. And you shouldn't be walking 10 blocks to get your son.


I really don't think this is a healthy relationship. I know you have kids together, but it sounds like you would be better off without him. Have you applied for WIC? that will help with the groceries. I don't understand why your hubby has an expensive car and a bike and even cable while there is no food on the table for his son and pregnant wife. You shouldn't be going without food while you are pregnant!! It sounds like you would be better off leaving him and going on welfare...I'm sorry but its the truth!
Reply:FIRST!!! Don't go to jail for a man! Getting food stamps the way you are is fraud. I was a food stamp worker for 10 years and have seen so many women do this and go to jail. Where does that leave the kids? If he won't give you money for food then move out until you get this problem solved so you are not being fraudulent. PLEASE! You will regret it forever. Second, divorce is not the answer. Remember YOU teach people how to treat you. You have let this go on and he hasn't had any concequences. Leave him for a short while. This lets him know you are serious. During this time get help with the problem from your church. If he won't go then go alone. Your absence alone will be enough for him to start taking notice. Yes he will be deployed but I am also talking to be emotionally absent. Don't ignore him but let him know what the issues are and let him know that the issues are what you will be willing to talk about on the phone with him. No talking about anything else until he is willing to do this. Once he starts listening AND TALKING then you can start being there for him a little more, emotionally. Also stop ALL sexual activities. A counselor may tell you otherwise but men think that if they are having a sexual relationship with you that everything is all good. And if you have sex with a man after an agument without solving the problem or coming to a compromise you feel like you have just been used. Talk to your doctor about the depression and get some medication to help you cope until you can learn to cope without the medication. Work on this stuff and things should start to get better. STAY STRONG AND FIRM!



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