What would you do? Seriously, if you were in my shoes.........?

For the past 3 years, I have debating on whether or not to try to have another baby. I have one child who was born with a rare autosomal dominant disorder passed on by me who is mosaic for the gene which causes this. She will be 5 and has a mild form of the disease which affects the ANS-- most alarmingly, breathing dysfunction during sleep. Most of the kids have trachs and are on vents at night. She is mild enough that she doesn't need this now and if ever did, she would be put on bi-pap via mask. Developmentally she is on track and does not have delays.





I desperately want another baby and am considering my options. Health insurance does not cover PGD/IVF and is not affordable any time soon. Our genetic counselor gave us the option of CVS or amnio during pregnancy but I do not know if I would be able to terminate and if the affected baby will be as mild as my daughter. I am depressed and do not feel that I will ever be happy in life if I am not able to conceive a healthy chi

What would you do? Seriously, if you were in my shoes.........?
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I am glad that your daughter is doing as well as she is! I can't tell you what to do, but I suggest that you let God decide. I would put it in the hands of God, try of two or three months, and if it happens, then it was meant to be. If you don't get pregnant, then maybe look into adopting. There are tons of kids that need a good home. Since your daughter is already five, maybe adopting a toddler would be a good thing for everyone. Besides, it takes less time with a toddler than with a baby. I know in Ontario that adoption through the childrens aid society is free. It may be an option. Best of luck to you! Healthy baby dust to us both!
Reply:This is a very difficult position to be in. I think if I were in your shoes, I would also let it lay in god's hands. Not do anything but get off birth control(if you haven't already) and of course write down when I start and all that. I would just go as usual as if I am not trying, I know that is hard to do, but god intended it to happen it will. I think I would also talk to my doctor and ask about what the odds of having another child with the same thing. If they weren't high I would go ahead but if they were I think I probably would go ahead and try anyway, but it would be a harder decision. I feel that if god gives you a child with a disability it is also for a reason. He knows you could handle it. I am not going to mention adoption, I know with as much as I want a baby, I want to be pregnant. Which if we don't conceive in another year we are going to look some more into adoption.
Reply:well in order for the child to get the diease both parents have to be carriers so if u are with a different guy than ur daughter came from then u should have the guy tested cuz if the father is not a carrier then u dont have to worry about it but if the father is a carrier then its likely that the baby will have problems if u dont feel comftorable having another one but want another why dont u adopt. Many children would love to have a loving family espically during the long cold winter u would be able to help one child stay warm and keep them healthy and happy maybe u should adopt a baby. sorry to hear about your situation and hope u make a good decision and u like the outcome.
Reply:im really sorry to hear about your problem its hard to give anybody advice especially anybody thats not in your shoes but if it were me honestly i wouldnt try... i would just stay with my daugther and be happy with her... what about adopting? or being a forster mom
Reply:This is such a difficult place to be in. Ultimately,this is a personal decision though. Think long and hard about why you want another child and if you would be able to handle it if your child was not healthy or as mild of a case as your daughter.





If your life happiness depends on your ability to conceive a healthy child, perhaps you need to seek some other counseling. What about adoption? That is a valid option for many couples. There are millions of healthy babies that just aren't wanted. You could bring one into your home and make them a part of your family!





I wish you the best as you make the decision.
Reply:My friends friends daughter had that! Its so sad! and her mom doesnt give a crap shes a young grl and had her daughter really young and had no fam! I thnk if your able and emotionally ready and think you can handle this then try again! But i wouldnt really "try" Just let it happen! If god wnats you to have a baby and think your ready he will bless you with a baby! Just remember what your daughter has and has to go through! God bless sweetie! Just pray pray pray!!!
Reply:before you think to have another baby, try to think if you could handle the current condition of your child. dont take for granted that you have a child over the other. taking cvs depends on you.
Reply:I"m sorry for your situation. All you can do is leave it in God's hand, just because one child has doesn't mean the next one will. Have you considered adoption?



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