"baby mamma drama"?

Sorry for the ignorant title but... thats the best I could do::





So, my boyfriend has a two year old with his ex who left him. Being his girlfriend, I treat his daughter like I would treat my own. Her mother is very neglectant of her daughter, she dresses very sanky around her, is always bringing different guys in and out of her house, has boughten drugs with her daughter in the back seat, and many times has either come to pick her up from my boyfriends high or drunk or has been around her daughter drunk. My boyfriend is struggling with money right now , so I help out by buying his daughter, clothes, shoes, pull-ups and anything else she needs. Recently his ex found a picture of her daughter giving me a big hug and kiss on my cheek on my boyfriends myspace and shes got a huge problem with it all of a sudden. What do you think her problem is and what can I do about it? The whole part that blows my mind is that she is SO neglectant to her daughter.

"baby mamma drama"?
what can I say?....she's a loser
Reply:Call th epolice when she is drinking when leaving with the child! Beware keep that part from your boyfriend he could get mad! But obious sounds like the child would be better off with the two of you. Thinking of marriage? Get that done if your ready. Get a home study done and get in church and get her involved with the childrens activities as well as tumbling classes or something and have a game plan if you get her such as who would be responsible while you both work. Arrange play dates and get her friends to play with. Good Luck!
Reply:Your boyfriend needs to try and get custody of this child if the conditions with the mother are so bad.Yes she probaly is jealous of you because you act more like a mother than she does.And she can't stand the fact that her daughter looks up to you and not her.Please try and get this child out of the situation that she is in with her mother.She seems to be better off with you and your boyfriend.GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Reply:well...for one thing, the next time she shows up to pick the child up drunk or high..call the cops, for all the "treat her as a child should be treated" you should not at anytime allow her in the car with her if she is in that state...it could kill the child.


also..have you tried calling the child's real father to discuss the situation? if they are both this low..you could always call child services.
Reply:Maybe you should tell your boyfriend to get full custody of her. i sounds like her mother is not in good shape and shouldnt be taking care of a chilld. She sounds like a horrible mother!
Reply:If all this is true, you need to be able to prove it to a judge. Get her away from that mother. Again prove what you accuse. I did and now I have full custody. of both my kids.
Reply:sounds like she's afraid and jealous. she may be afraid that ur so great with her daughter, that her daughter will soon prefer u over her, if not already. and that could lead her to feel jealous of u. from what u wrote, she should be fearful and jealous. u sound like a good role model. i would befriend the witch...meaning, kill her with kindness and just keep being the person u are with the daughter. and goodluck! step-situations are never easy.
Reply:For starters, she's two, she isn't talking that much about you or anyone else.





Secondly, if her mom is as you say, why isn't your boyfriend fighting to get custody of her?? And please don't say something like money, cause that is his child and if things are as bad as you say... he needs to be spending every penny he has to his name to get his child out of that!





Either that, or things aren't as bad as someone is making them out to be... and if they truly are that bad.. then he is a neglectful father for leaving his child in that mess!!
Reply:Report her to DOCS. This child should not be put in a postion like this. Dont you watch the news at how many kids are abused or found dead that could of been prevented. If you dont want your boyfriend to know dont say anything but if you have a good relationship and good communication between yourselves you two should discuss this matter. Its a hard one, I feel sorry for you but if you care about this child and you are being truthful about what you have written, save this child now before its too late. Shes no parent, shes a person that has a kid with her few days a week and puts herself first instead of her daughter. Dont be like her, think of the child and not the relationship you have with your boyfriend. I wish you all the best.
Reply:Your bf probably feels like he's between a rock and a hard place because he doesn't have that much money and probably can't afford daycare or things of that matter.





I mean if the "baby mama" is that bad, then he should go for full custody, have social services investigate the living condition at her house. Once he gets her, he should apply for food stamps, TANF, child care assistance and everything. There are things out there for the "working poor" as we are called.





I'm a single mother, and my daughters baby father... he's not neglegent, I take care of her, he doesn't come visit or anything. So I'm taking care of her on my own, so I definitely understand what it could be llike. If he loves that little girl, he will do what he needs to do. :)


Good Luck sweetie.
Reply:You could write a letter or send an email to the mother, explaining that you are glad to be able to know her little one; that she has a very special daughter and you are glad to be a part of her life. Let her know that no one can take the place of the real mother and that since you hang out with the father of the child and come in contact with his daughter, you try to treat her like you would want any of your children to be treated by other adults, but that you have no desire to fill the shoes of the mother.





This woman obviously has severe mental problems and she apparently believes that other people are the source of her unhappiness. Thank goodness this baby has other adults to look to for love and kindness. Now, statistically speaking, there is a very small likelyhood that you will still be with your current boyfriend 5 years from now, so for the child's sake, try not to get too attached to her. If she gets attached to people, only to have them disappear from her life, she will learn to distance herself from everyone. On the other hand, if you marry this man very soon, the chances that you two will stay together will increase greatly. You sound like you are very mature for your age. Keep it up. But don't live with or sleep with a man to whom you are not married. Trust me on this. It will only harm you, not to mention our society, in the long run. Best wishes to you in this difficult matter, and super-kudos to you for treating this child with the love and respect that the innocent are so in need of. May the blessings of a kind father in heaven rain down upon you for your goodness! :)
Reply:I have to start by saying that I think this story is at least embellished. Why is it that according to every step mom, the biological mom suddenly turns into a skanky drug addict when she and the dad break up? You are not the first step mom to come on here ranting that they are the ones who fill the void for the child when the evil Bio Mom is getting tanked at the bar. It's never the step dads; in fact, they're quite respectful and seem to know their place. So I'm taking everything you said with a grain of salt.


Anyway, if the mother truly is NEGLIGENT (because neglectant isn't a word), Dad isn't doing his job. If he knows that his child's mother is buying drugs, with the child in the back seat no less, and he allowed someone who's high/drunk to take his daughter, he's just as negligent as she is. Shame on him.
Reply:I agree with BoxSox27. The way you are talking about her maybe she is getting mad about the picture because you could be saying negative things about her around or to her daughter. And what about the father you are doing all the things that the father is supposed to do. To me it sounds like he is no good. And from the sounds of her maybe you are too much involved with them if you don't back off some you may get a beat down.
Reply:The fact that she (the ex) is upset by a picture is a non-issue. The fact that this child is being neglected is.





My question to your boyfriend is why are you letting this child be picked up by a person who is high or drunk. To me, your boyfriend is as neglectful as she is for this reason alone.





I think it is wonderful how well you treat his daughter and I admire you for that. However, it should be her dad doing all these things for her. As far as I am concerned, any parent that allows the things you mentioned to continue, without doing something about it, is a very neglectful parent as well. Sad.
Reply:To the person below. you cannot get custody because unless parents agree to sign off custody. BOTH or if you report her, the child will become a child of state. In my opinion, I dont know what you are doing with a financially unstable person in the first place that was irresponsible enough to have a child when he was poor. and for your 411 its negligent not neglectant. you need to improve your grammar.
Reply:y don't he took divorce and u should marry him



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