Should I abort this baby?

I'm 6 weeks pregnant with a man who I now know is a criminal. He's going to be in prison next several years. I'm 33 years old, single mom of 2 other kids. I do have a good job, but if I had this child it would be in daycare for long hours. (I work 2 days a week but they are 14 hour days) I'm not even sure I could find child care for those type of hours. I have no medical insurance, and I think I make too much for government assistance. So the odds are against me and this would be an extreme struggle if I had this child. But I keep thinking it could be my last. What would you do in my shoes?

Should I abort this baby?
If you are asking what I would do: I would have the baby. Either keep him/her because things would 'just work out' or put him/her up for adoption.





I would look into state assistance for medical insurance - for a family of 4, you may be within income guidelines.





I am sorry that the guy turned out bad. I am sorry that this is a difficult time for you - but congratulations on your pregnancy - babies are always blessings, even when we cannot see the blessing at the time.
Reply:Do not take your actions out on this child, there are other solutions. Please consider adoption. Many many women would love to have a child of their own, but can't. I know times are hard but this baby deserves a chance. You made the decision to sleep with this man and now are left with a decision to either abort this baby. Don't you think that there are long term consequences to that decision. You are going to have to live with the fact that you killed your baby. You can choose to give birth to this baby, and let it have a chance to be loved by a family that desperately wants a baby, and would give it a loving home where it is wanted. That's just me, I would rather give my baby up, then to give in to my selfish needs.
Reply:If I were in your shoes, I would never consider abortion. I'm 26 and also a single mom of 2. I have a decent, wouldn't say great job. I struggle financially all the time, just like millions of other parents. One thing that being a single parent has taught me is that God always provides. He just does, I struggle to make ends meet, but I've always been able to make it. My kids don't have everything they want or that I would like to be able to give them, and I also work long hours; but I don't think they ever regret having been born or having me as a mom. I don't think I'm raising defective human beings just because we don't have alot of money. Having an abortion because you think childcare would be hard to find seems pretty lame to me.





So personally, I would have the baby. I live by the saying "what ever happens to us happens for a reason" . God blessed you with this baby for a reason.
Reply:Get rid of it.


Becuase right now it is NOT A BABY.


It's alive like any other part of your body, but it's not a 'baby'.





You're 33. Do you have another 20 years of trying to bring a kid up right? Don't waste your time! Life is not about having kids, and you're a single mom and the dad won't be around.


Even you know beforehand that you won't be abel to brig it up as you wold like. Daycare and such etc etc. Not to mention the MEDICAL aspect. Right now, it's not a kid. If you let it become one, then that's not cool if you bring it into such adverse circumstances when you knew so beforehand.





Please abort it.


If not, then prepare ASAP to have it adopted. You don't need it, and it doesn't help you.
Reply:to honestly say i would have the child.....there are people out there who arent able to have children..you could always look at adoption. Remember its a baby and part of who you are.





P.S I dont believe in abortions its just an easy way out
Reply:Don't think that you make to much for state assistance. I am aggainst abortion, but that decision ultimatily up to you. The state always have a child care assistance for single parents, don't be to proud to try because it does not cost any money to ask. You do not have to keep the child, there is always the option of adoption. Before you make a decision think about it try to make an abortion the last option, because if you were aborted you wouldn't be writing this question right now. I hope your situation gets better and please think long about it before you decide to have an abortion.
Reply:Judgemant aside, have you thought about adoption?
Reply:Please, don't do an abortion! At least put this child up for adoption. I am very strongly against abortions. Good luck, hun.
Reply:I understand that you are looking for advice but this truly is something that you must decide for yourself.





Don't let anyone make you feel bad for whatever you choose.


This will be the hardest decision you ever have to make.





You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are considering the reality of the situation. You have options, no matter what you decide it will be the right choice for you.





If you decide to have an abortion, it does NOT make you a bad person. You know what you can and cannot handle and it is not an easy thing for anyone to go through. Don't let anyone judge you. You also have adoption to consider (although it is understandable to not even want to go through the 9 months of pregnancy just to hand your baby over, I couldn't do it).





Try contacting your local Planned Parenthood they are very understanding they will not preach to you and they will help you decide what you want to do, if you decide to terminate,adopt of keep it they can help.





It's your body. It's your life and no one should be made to have to baby they know they can't take care of or do not want. It's your legal right to make whatever decision you want about your body.





I wish you the best and hope this all works out for you.
Reply:I am totally pro-choice, but in my opinion, it sounds like you may have a difficult time caring for this child. If I were in your shoes, I would seriously consider continuing with the pregnancy and putting the baby up for adoption. I don't think it's that you don't want another child, but rather the child being provided for in the best manner possible. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.
Reply:what a stupid selfish question!!!!
Reply:Personally I would only consider abortion as a last resort if you cannot possible put the child up for adoption. I would seriously consider adoption and if you feel you cannot go through with it because adoption is harder on the mother than abortion than I would have an abortion. If you can afford it have them put you to sleep for the procedure, the trauma of an abortion seems to come more from the pain and sounds then the procedure itself. God Bless and hurry before you are trapped into a decision based on time.
Reply:Tough choice. But the "sins" of the father shouldn't apply to the baby or your criteria for getting a abortion. Good luck in whatever direction you go in with this. It's an personal choice.
Reply:why not try a open adoption if you can handle the emtional side of all that but if i where in your shoes and had to make the same choice I would abort as a mother of three who was single for a period of that i can understand your agast in this don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice I would love for all the pro-lifers to walk one day in a womans like you shoes and see if they have to same resolve on abortion it can be the best choice for some unborn children
Reply:No one but you can answer this question!
Reply:I personally would not have an abortion because l believe in a feutus having a right to live. At the end lf the day though it is up to you
Reply:It's a horrible situation to be in, and I've never been in anything similar, but you have already proven yourself as a good mother to 2 other children. You already know the joy they can bring, and you say yourself that you would be able to do it. The child's father being a criminal is not a reflection on what your baby will be like, as I'm sure you know already. As for it being your last, that's not necessarily so - you're not too old to have another one in a few years if you decided. I wish you all the best in your decision, and take care of yourself whatever you decide to do. And don't listen to some of the posters here that will no doubt be abusive and judgemental.
Reply:You can get through this. Things may be tough but dont have any regrets whatever decision you make. Remember you have a very precious gift inside you. If your a mother already at least you kinda know what you doing!





x





Hope it works out ok
Reply:Put it up for adoption if you really think you can't handle it.
Reply:I am very pro choice. In this situation though, it sounds like adoption would be a good option for you. You are a grown woman, so you don't have to fear your parents or worry about schooling or what not. Now what do your other children do when you are at work? Do you or the father have a family member that could watch the baby while you are working? 2 days isn't that bad. Ultimately, this choice is yours and no one here could influence you because we do not know your exact situation and feelings. Good Luck though.
Reply:The Decision is In Your Hands Think Really Carefully


That What Will be The Outcome.
Reply:I was 6 weeks pregnant when my body spontaneously aborted it. It was early enough and at the time I was depressed with my relationship, so I was glad that I lost it, but to this day I wonder what the child would be or look like if it were alive today. I think I would feel bad to put it on adoption but at least it'll be alive, but you may have a heavy guilt on your shoulders. I'd get too lazy to want to get the procedure done thinking of the pain. Let's just say you want something on layaway. You may not have the love of your child now but perhaps later if you let him/her live. Find out about single parent support who can help with the cost of giving birth or the adopted parents to be can help with the cost. In summary I am saying keep the baby.
Reply:This is a tought situation. But will you please put it up for adoption. I am strongly against abortion. When a baby is aborted it moves away from the abortion tools. find it a good home.
Reply:NO IT IS NOT that childs fault that the man is a loser and it is NOT your falt either You should have this little baby and do what is right for you and your 3 children YOU WILL MANAGE! and this may be a great experience for the 4 of you! KEEP your ead up nad RELAX!
Reply:It depends how emotionally attached you are. If you are thinking this could be your last chance for another child, decide whether you would be having the child for your sake or its. If your circumstances are as bad as you say my personal opinion is that it would be cruel to have the child. You are a single mother of 2 children, most people are happy with 2 children. You would be relying on the state to support this child and you do not sound like the sort of person who wants to do this. I understand it is really hard to make the decision to abort but I also understand that it can be harder to give an unwanted child a good life.
Reply:I truly believe you should have this baby. You will be able to work something out. Maybe seek some financial counseling for the added expense of daycare. And having another child will raise the amount you can make and still get assistance. They should be able to do something for you.
Reply:personally i would keep the baby no matter what weather he was going to be there or not because having babies is difficult at any age or situation your in if your a single mum in the UK you can get help from your local job centre with child care they pay up to 80% towards what you need there is always mother and baby groups you can go to and maybe even make some good friends that you can talk to if you didnt keep this baby just because the father is an idiot you will always wonder what if and you sound like you really care about this child already do your children know your pregnant? how do you think they would take it? i think you sound like a good mother for your other children so why not just try thats all any of us can do and it may turn out to be the best thing you ever did





i wish you all the best with your future
Reply:I'm not going to judge you because this is your choice i can't tell you what to do all i can say is to think long and hard about your options you could always have the baby adopted but i would think you will find that hard since you already have kids you no whats its like when you hold that baby for the first time ,it would be hard no matter what you do


i personally could never abort a baby for that reason it takes 2 and you have to take responsibility for your actions as does the father even if hes not around for you





i wish you well xx
Reply:only you can answer your own question because only you will have to live with your answer.
Reply:Abort. It's in the best interest of yourself and your children. e-mail me if you want further explanation.
Reply:Would you consider putting the child up for adoption instead?





There are so many couples out there who would love to adopt a healthy child. You could be the person to provide that child for one of them.





There are always "good" reasons for an abortion -- you have listed many that sound reasonable given your situation.





But the bottom line is that you know this is YOUR kid inside your body. You've had two others, so you know this. This is the half-brother or half-sister of your 2 kids.





Your situation is difficult. But is denying life to another person really going to make your life better?





Abortion is legal, and I am not trying to preach to you. I understand that I am not in your shoes.





I am just asking that perhaps you consider another option, such as adoption, before you make the decision for abortion.





Good luck to you -- my thoughts are with you!



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