On verge of emotional breakdown... What do i do? Want to TTC 3rd baby.?

What do I do? For the past 8 months I have been trying to convince my husband to have a third child. But he refuses. He hates the idea of it. And it's become all I can think about. All we do is discuss it, argue about it, and nothing ever gets resolved, nothing determined. I don't know what to do. I know in my heart, as a mother, that I'm not done having babies. I absolutly love being a mom. My kids and husband are my whole world. I just want one more, and I can't convince him. I feel there is nothing I can do but live in a depression for the next 10 years. He won't budge. But I know if we did have another one, he wouldn't regret it...he even says he wouldn't. So I don't know what to do. Please some advice... maybe someone out there has been in my shoes.

On verge of emotional breakdown... What do i do? Want to TTC 3rd baby.?
Just my two cents, but did you not discuss how many children you wanted BEFORE you married?
Reply:I would not assume he wants a third child. A friend of mine had a similar situation, she wanted a third child, they were great parents, he said 2 was enough and as soon as she got pregnant he started having an affair and their life is a mess still 5 years later.


Maybe talking to an outside person who is not involved (no family or friends) and really sort out why you have this need and why he is so resistant. I think its best to be honest with each other and really listen to what each other has to say. I mean you are thinking about bringing another human into this world and it would be best if it was a decision everyone agreed with and was comfortable with. Good Luck
Reply:If you "live in a depression for the next 10 yrs "over this, you are doing such a disservice to your other kids. Actually a selfish way to be where your family is concerned. You have 2 other children and I am sure you are a very good mom. Don't let this become some obsessive force in your life. Be the best mom and wife you can be to what you have. Maybe in time, without the nagging and fighting about it, your husband can change his mind ON HIS OWN. Or maybe he won't. Either way, you certainly don't want to rob the kids you have of the mom they deserve. Do you ever watch TLC? Seen the show "John and Kate +8"? They had done fertility treatments and conceived twins. A few yrs later, she wanted "just one more". Her husband didn't want it, he felt the world is "perfectly suited and built for 4 people". But she kept on and they had sextuplets !!!!! My husband and I have a 4 yr old and a 4 mo old and I founf out I am 6 wks pregnant. We are scared about our other kids and wondering how we will distribute time, love, money, etc. I feel like I am forcing my baby to grow up too fast. I guess we should just be thankful for the hand God deals us. I won't complain because I have a sister in law who has tried for 7 yrs to conceive, has had 3 miscarriages after IVF and I cannot imagine her pain of never being able to have a child of her own. Makes you grateful for what you have, huh ?
Reply:Enjoy the kids you have- it's not about the number of children you have. Have you bothered to understand your husband's perspective? Maybe he's going trough a rough patch at work, or maybe he wants to send the 2 kids that you have to a good school without struggling. Especially if you're staying at home, a third child may put a lot of strain on your finances.


Try joining Big brothers big sisters or fostering (of course, if you have the money and the time) in the meantime- you'll get to make a huge change in a child's life.
Reply:I bet he just isn't ready right now. Try to stop talking about it for awhile and ask him if he will reconsider in the next year or two. He's probably getting frustrated about the fact of fighting about it and will say no to it for right now. But make sure that your lives are well...your relationship with each other and finances and then try asking.



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