What do I do!? Need advice!?

I want a third child so bad. I have no rhyme or reason. It's just in my heart. I have two healthy children. A daughter and a son. My husband and I have a great marriage. Everything is great. But I still feel some part of "us" is missing. So we've come to our first really big obstacle. I want this and he doesn't. Things are great until this comes up. We've been fighting about this for over a year now. He just hates the idea. He's perfectly happy how things are.. and so am I... I just feel that there is something missing. (I don't really know how else to explain it). So after all of this fighting about this, back in December, he gives me this really awesome Christmas gift. I open it up and it's a little pair of little baby shoes and a little baby shirt. Gave me a big speech about how he's in this with me. So we tried and didn't get pregnant...and then he changes his mind. So he asks for more time. So we agree we'd start trying in may and now he's backing out again. What do i do?

What do I do!? Need advice!?
He doesn't want it... If everything's good, why risk it all, why gamble? Raising two kids is already a big responsibility, financially and otherwise. A lot of women feel "empty" after their last child - my mom said she felt this way after they had my brother (their second and last child). She felt very sad when she pondered that she will never get to experience having a baby again. Both my parents would have had more kids if they could. But they were also very realistic, and they decided they couldn't afford more kids; they were not wealthy by any means, and even two kids put a huge stretch on their family budget. If your husband is the main provider for the family, he might be concerned about the future. Do you know how much it costs to send your kids through college these days? Do you realize that you will need some serious $$ put away for your retirement? You can't count on social security anymore, and the life expectancy is rising every year. Maybe your husband doesn't want your kids to graduate from college with $100,000 student loan debt, and doesn't want both of you working until you're 85? I think he probably has some valid concerns that go beyond "I don't wanna". Think about the kids you already have; for their sake - don't destroy the good relationship you have with your hubby.
Reply:if it is meant to be then it will happen. If you think something is missing from your marriage that your husband and your other two children can not fill then maybe you should talk to a marriage councler. What makes you think a 3rd child will fill the void?
Reply:Please take this to God in prayer. Ask Him for the desire of your heart, but also for the grace to accept it if He says no or wait. God can either fulfill your desire if it is His will or give you the grace to accept the disappointment if YOU are willing to pray that.
Reply:if it happens it happens if it doesn't why not look inside yourself to find what you are missing; a 3rd child can not fill a void in your heart
Reply:You have a good husband....healthy children.





Why would you do anything now to jeopardize that?





Go get some therapy to come to terms with having two children so you can let this obsession go.
Reply:Put your foot down and tell him to make up his mind, and quit playing with your emotions.
Reply:He doesn't want anymore kids. SORRY - but its the truth. The whole Christmas gift thing was probably him just giving in and now that he's had time to think about it - he's sure of it.





You have 2 great kids and a happy marriage.





Then don't make problems where none existed to begin with. Are you going to divorce him if you don't have a 3rd child? If not - then don't push it.





If you think this issue has caused you two strife for the past year - just think what raising a 3rd child he never wanted will do to your relationship over the next 18-20 years !!!





Its just not worth pushing.
Reply:get a dog
Reply:That "something missing" is seldom another baby. Perhaps you should engage in some self searching (perhaps with some objectionve counseling) to discover what it is you are missing in your life. It could be so many things.... purpose, feeling loved or needed.... a new challenge.... etc.
Reply:what a mind f*#$ of him to keep changing his mind on such an important and sensitive issue! It's obvious he doesn't want it but is willing to give in because he loves you, which is sweet. I don't think I'd be mad at him; go to counseling and work through it; figure out why he doesn't want it and see if you can address those issues to change his mind.





good luck!



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